it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
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He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
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I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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