she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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