It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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