Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.

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  (914): Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride. http://tfl.nu/fcgf
  Replies (22) Good night (2635) Bad night (407) Order T-Shirt
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  (361): View more from Texas

  I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.

  (1-361): View more from Texas

  Def the best call fo sho

  (361): View more from Texas

  That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.

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  (361): I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it. (1-361): Def the best call fo sho (361): That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers. http://tfl.nu/l307
  Replies (39) Good night (4663) Bad night (517)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite

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  (248): remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite http://tfl.nu/a8vx
  Replies (24) Good night (3637) Bad night (526) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up

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  (301): The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up http://tfl.nu/7low
  Replies (29) Good night (2906) Bad night (701) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring

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  (207): I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring http://tfl.nu/1cyo
  Replies (18) Good night (4429) Bad night (981) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.

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  (603): i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm. http://tfl.nu/ifvp
  Replies (121) Good night (723) Bad night (4556) Order T-Shirt
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.

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  (647): if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are. http://tfl.nu/2i80
  Replies (6) Good night (4917) Bad night (475) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.

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  (404): I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do. http://tfl.nu/0i65
  Replies (13) Good night (6490) Bad night (914) Order T-Shirt
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.

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  (414): he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie. http://tfl.nu/pbor
  Replies (16) Good night (691) Bad night (4465) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.

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  (708): Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity. http://tfl.nu/m9p5
  Replies (53) Good night (1501) Bad night (7686) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram

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  (708): This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram http://tfl.nu/p4j5
  Replies (2) Good night (2636) Bad night (634) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.

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  (612): We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win. http://tfl.nu/kq33
  Replies (7) Good night (3764) Bad night (867) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem

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  (949): I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem http://tfl.nu/xr6o
  Replies (3) Good night (938) Bad night (503) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?

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  (610): On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate? http://tfl.nu/oozq
  Replies (8) Good night (1387) Bad night (415) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.

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  (215): I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing. http://tfl.nu/pyii
  Replies (15) Good night (1491) Bad night (334) Order T-Shirt

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