We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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