my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I have tasted many bathrooms
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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