i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
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But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
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Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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