Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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