Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize