i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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