Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize