Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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