He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
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I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
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I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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