wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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