I love black thongs
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize