he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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