am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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