I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
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Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
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The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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