i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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