Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
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