i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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