you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
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I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
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Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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