I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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