So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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