i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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