I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
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On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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