I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize