I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize