it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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