remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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