She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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