I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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