I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize