everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize