There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
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