So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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