I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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