We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
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I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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