Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
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He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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