i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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