hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize