How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Randomize