I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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