Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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