Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
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You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
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That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize