To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
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when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
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Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
BRING THE BAGELS
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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