smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I love you.
Bad choice
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