The maid of honor just puked.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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