Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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