p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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