Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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