For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize