Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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